A friend, artist and fellow writer just got the news that her father has Alzheimer’s. Though it’s been suspect for some time, the fact that it’s now “official” still comes as a shock.
Tamlyn’s given me permission to share her feelings here. ”There are many more people going through something similar right now,” she said.
As you can see, she does beautiful things with words and pictures. I’m sending healing thoughts her way.
“I wrote this poem a couple of years ago… The process went so slow for a couple of years and now… It goes so frakking fast, his memory is fading at such a rapid speed, that things he knew yesterday, he doesn’t know today… This poem was written on one of his bad moments back then. Now the good moments are few and far between.
Anyway, here goes…”
A Poem for My Father, by Tamlyn Leigh
one of the hardest things
I ever had to do in this life
is to watch my dad,
leaning over the table,
staring at it in hope of
it telling him the name
he is searching his mind
for so desperately. The
effort makes his hand
clench around the envelope
he has meant to discard
five minutes ago
his god is cruel, letting
his mind slowly die, his
music fade from him, and
making his life, for him,
matter less and less
he told me once, his father
died in his late 60′s, and he
felt like he was stealing life
now he is older than his dad
ever was. I told him, that it
was selfish to think so, and
that I want my nephews to
have a chance to remember
him, as I have no memory
of my grandfather, I was too
young when cancer killed him
I told him I want my dad in
my life, and he said he never
knew how to be one. He was
right, he never really was a dad
like you see on tv, perfection,
but.. he is my only dad, and…
to see him standing there
leaning over the table, an
old, fumbling man, was
too hard to witness, too
cruel to have to experience
deep inside me, a child clenches
her pillow against her chest, and
wonders what words she can use
to help her father find himself again
Tamlyn Leigh
This verse touched my heart…thanks ever so much for sharing it all of us.
Thank you so much for posting it here, dear friend. I am grateful and I hope it reaches someone going through the same.
And thank you, slpmartin, for your kind comment.
It’s very touching. It made me want to call my parents immediately and share and value the good times together as long as it’s possible. Thanks for sharing it with us, Tamlyn.