We hope that this week’s Impact effort brought something to the people we met up with this week. Nils and I can certainly say that Listening brought something to our lives.
What We Learned
Listening with not just our ears (or ego), but our heart and entire being takes effort! But, it’s a worthwhile effort.
Nils had a couple of interesting experiences this past week while honing his listening skills. Of particular note is that he noticed how much people open up when they feel they’re being listened to.
“People talked to me about things that I was surprised they chose to reveal about themselves,” he said.
On the one hand, he found it flattering that he would be trusted with what he thought were rather private thoughts; on the other hand, at times it made him uncomfortable. Information that some cultures would find quite natural to discuss may be considered invasive by others. Nils comes from a culture where you typically don’t ask questions that might evoke responses about how someone feels or what someone believes, nor do you easily offer too personal information.
In addition, “Listening also means a responsibility,” he said. Some of the information that was shared he knows he has “the responsibility to keep confidential and not judge.”
On my side, this week heightened my awareness of when I do NOT listen. I’m most likely to interrupt when I’m excited or in agreement with someone — alas, I sometimes finish others’ sentences. And, when I have too many things on my mind, I am definitely not “all present.” There were two situations of note when I was NOT a good listener. In fact, on one occasion, I did so when someone was relating to me what Impact she had had recently. I felt and feel very badly, but by the time I realized what I had done, it was too late to fix. I guess, at least I noticed. As much of a good listener as I think I might be, I have things to learn.
If you didn’t have the chance to participate this week, we strongly suggest that you take a day or a week and concentrate on listening to others. Who knows, maybe it can become a habit. 
To know how good (or not) a listener you are, try reflecting on a conversation you had recently. What did you share with that person? What did that person share with you? If the other person shared little, is it because s/he is less forthcoming, or was it because you didn’t give the opportunity or showed no interest?
Listening seems to have become a rare gift we give to others. We suggest we all try to make it commonplace.
